Change your beliefs for a better life – Systematic doubts

nothing is right or wrong thinking makes it so - William Shakespeare 

Why so much importance on recognizing and if desired changing your belief’s system?

From what you believe you create your world, the way you act and respond to certain events. There is not a only way to direct your thought in order to govern your life.

Many can manage it instinctively. They decide what is better for them, and after that they can represent their world in order to help them to acheive what they want.

It is because in their lives they found proofs and confirmations throught experience or self-conditioning that they are able to do it. But what about if you think that your experience doesn’t help you to rise your self esteem?

This is why it is so important to understand what you believe. If you focus your efforts with a mindset of limiting beliefs also your effort and results will be limited.

As the good Shakespeare remind us,  how we see our life it is different from anybody else, and is the mind that create it.

Wouldn’t be great to get the most useful view of your world?

Think about something in which you believed in the past and you don’t believe anymore? What about Santa Claus? When I was a child I believed in Santa Claus. I started having doubts about him when I was ten. And then doubt after doubt I arrived to make him just fantasy of my mind.

The first way to make doubts in your beliefs is find proves that deny your statement.

Have you ever seen the Truman show?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlK5lpB-HZ4

In the movie, Truman, the main character, discovers that the world in which he has been living his own life was in some way fake. Everything happened in the same way. People new what to do, when to do it. All was so fake. He was surrounded by actors, and everything was always organised for him.

How can you know that your world is real. Is it actually? You just take the informations that you receive, and after giving your personal interpretation, you assess that things must be in that way.

Socrates, the gad fly of Athen, used to go around the city of Athen, asking people important questions about life. He is now considered one of the most important philosophers of the western world. Using the socratic method he inquired the  most intelligent persons of the city to go further in their assumptions. He finally discovered that, most of them, didn’t really know what they was speaking about.

So, are you ready ready to know the most powerful technique to change your beliefs?

Systematic doubt

Here first powerful “technique”:

Make doubts. Create the doubt in your mind. If you want to give less power to convictions that you don’t like, use your mind. Find all the times in which your assumption was “wrong”. Sail in your memory, and go further. If you don’t find it in recent times, go back when you were a young boy. Was you different?

Quest yourself. Is it true that you are in a certain way? Is it real the fact that people see you as you think? Ask yourself questions.

Make doubts in your mind about your negative beliefs. Almost everything that happens in the world is related to what you believe. In an article that I read, the author (who’s blog has many other interesting posts) made an example about gravity. You never even think about the gravity as something in which you believe and that affect your life. But you should be aware that you believe in gravity. And you are so convinced about it that you even don’t make question about it.

Be critical about your beliefs. Be critical and be a rebel about what you don’t want. Ask yourself questions, until you doesn’t distroy the negative kingdom that slowly grew up.

There are no better things than your mind to make your life the one you want. Nothing is always black or white. You can always see a different shade in it.

see you next week whit a new interesting post.
thanks for reading,

Alberto

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Why, what we believe becomes our truth?

“Whether you think you can or can’t you’re right”, Henry Ford

You experience your reality trough your senses. What is perceived with your five senses pass through your mind that re-elaborate what happens and give interpretation of the world.

Our subconscious mind, the one that responsible for our long term process, is able to analyse as much as 40 millions bit of information per second. It is about 1 million times more than the conscious mind processing capacity (40 bit per second). In this part of mind are stored also stored the information on our certainly and values. What for us is true is stored there.

Unless you live inside the Arctic circle, you know that light and dark alternate during the 24 hours of a day. Your beliefs are based on some prove. You can say that the sun rises everyday because you have proves about it. You have seen it more than one time, and also when you can’t see it you know that the sun will be there, behind the clouds.

The more bases you have about something the more it becomes creadible. And the more something becomes creadible, the more you can declare it to be “true”. When we already know that something work in a certain way we don’t have to analise it again, and our conscoious mind can pass the ball to the subconscious mind, whose is faster to process the informations.

The conciouss mind wakes up again when a new and unfamiliar situation happen and you need to analyse the new informations. Our belief system is a way to optimize energies and free our cerebral RAM for other activities. Our subconscious mind will continue always to work like an automatic pilot, giving silently instructions on what to do.

In the past many of the convictions of people’s life were imprecise, or, nowadays, considered wrong. The earth, a flat planet, was the centre of the universe. It wasimpossible to flight from a place to another and was even unimaginable to communicate in live to a person not physically present.

Probably in the future we’ll find to be wrong still in many fields. Well, “Ai posteri l’ardua sentenza”.

In the next post we will deals with changing in the beliefs system. And in which way you can manage it throw some techniques.

Thanks for reading and see you at the next post,

Alberto

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Believe it or not, beliefs works – How what your convictions make your life

“Beliefs are conclusion derived from information and experience. Beliefs can be both conscious and subconscious”, Rob Williams

We cannot really see the world as it is. We see it as we are.

Beliefs divide you from the reality. Are the definitions that you give of your world. Rob Williams, originator of Psych-k technique, says that are the conclusions that we express about something (our personality, the goodness of a brand, the effect of medicines or drugs…). You make it after receiving a series of informations or experiences about certain events. If when you was a child, you got burn by a flame and you felt pain, you’ll believe that being burn by a flame could be dangerous for your body.

It is good for you to know it. You see that something have a certain effect and you learn from it. You’ll probably get right about the fire. But sometimes you set down conclusions not based on physical phenomenons and rational causalities. And in this case some problems can occur.

Let’s take an example with two random guys. Tim and John have been invited separately from a friend of them at a party. When they arrive they know none in the the place and their friends are both away. After a while Tim starts speaking with people around him, and in half an hour they are still together laughing  and having fun. He then goes dancing with some people just met, and all the night he speaks a lot, meeting many new people. He feels awesome and brilliant. He feels like being in one of the best parties of his life. On the contrary we have John. After going around for a while, looking for his lost friend, he sits down at one side of the room, eating the buffet food, and watching bored around, waiting for something to happen.

The place is the same, the conditions of the two persons invited at the party are the same, but Tim reacted in one way and John in another, and the results is very different.

They probably have a different attitude against the same event. They would have a different story, a diverse set of previous experiences and they couldn’t have the same environmental conditions. Tim probably thinks different things about himself than John does. He would probably believe to be funny and brilliant, to be a good speaker and friend, also with people just met. On the other side John would probably think something like: “This party is boring”;”I don’t know anyone”;”Where is that bas***d that invited me?”;”They don’t like me” etc…

Really different, isn’t it?

Don’t judge which of the two behaviours is better than the other. They are both right about their convictions, that’s the point. Tim believe to be in a great place, and actually he is. John believe to be at a boring party, and actually for him the party it is boring. Conclusions that you give about a situation make the situation to be different at least at our eyes.

And where does this convictions comes from? It is probably a mix of many factors and in this article I’ll try to explain some of the main.

In his best selling book, “Unlimited power“, Anthony Robbins, distinguisch five factors that determs in what we believe:

-(1)Environment: A successfull environment generate success, a happy environment generate happiness. The opposite is also true. A failing and depressing environment generate failure. My professor of statistic made me notice that, when a person lose his/her job, if others around him/her lose it too, he is less willing to fight for finding better conditions. The environment in which you live push you to live with certain standards. The persons whit which you stays all the day, influence strongly your attitude toward life. Sharing depression whit other depressed people doesn’t help you to escape from it. Living as lively and happy people will do it. But sometimes we lack of appropriate models. And we just learn what is in front of our eyes every day.

-(2)Events and (3)Previous experiences: The process of learning through experience is a very useful machine that help us to react faster to life’s situations. As in the example of the fire. As soon as you discover that fire can be painful, you would consider it dangerous.

“The best way for create the conviction of being able to do something, is doing it at least one time. If that time you manage to do it, it will be easier to create the conviction of being able to do it again” Anthony Robbins

Furthermore there are days that are impressed in your mind. That day you where so great or so bad that you were able to shake your beliefs system. A friend of mine used to remember the day in which he did sky diving as the day in which his life changed. He could feel the adrenaline in his body and all the energy and the fear mixed together in an exciting cocktail. In his opinion, if he was able to do that, nothing could have stop him anymore.

-(4)Knowledge: “pen is mightier than the sword” Edward Bulwer-Lytton

In the past and still now, knowledge was feared as one of the most dangerous of all the weapons. Is the alternative to experience. Nowdays we study lots of theory before starting to practise. Knowledge can offer you things that your environment lacks. Libraries are plenty of stories about other people’s lives and we can learn through it. Knowledge is one of the main road to escape from a limiting environment and difficult situations.

-(5)Self-created convictions:

If you lack of convictions that gives you the confidence of doing something, you can always use your mind to experience the results in advance.

If you manage to create in your mind the precise picture of the results that you wish, representing it as already reached, you will be in a status more willing to conduct you there. Try to imagine a future event and be able to feel it as it is a present moment. Many says that we become what we think. Reconstruct and modify the interpretation of your experience, can bring you a new prospective of life and so new internal representations (the way in which you pictures your world). In the series of next posts you’ll learn more about beliefs and on how to use some techniques to change your life.

Thanks for reading.

See you soon and enjoy the next post,

Alberto

 

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Different words for a Different world

Yesterday evening I promised to a friend that she would have read the article this morning. So here I am at 2.30 am in the night, writing it. It is not my usual, in fact I generally respect my sleeping schedule (Why? you can find it in this article). But commit yourself publicly is a great way to make you motivate to do things even when you are tired.

What you’ll read today/tonight is the way in which we communicate choosing different words affect different responses.

First of all I want to tell you a story that I read some years ago on a web page.

An homeless blind man used to ask for charity in the street. He was every day at the same place just with a little plate and a sign with written on “I’m blind. Please help”. One day a famous designer passed in the street and she sow the man. She came near him, took the sign and on the back of it she wrote something. Before the blind man could say something she was already gone. But he could just touch the shoes of her. Some days passed and coins was arriving in the plate of the blind man as never before. After few days a woman stopped in front of the blind man. He touched her shoes and he recognise that was the same woman whom wrote his sign. Amazed from what happened he asked her “what did you wrote on it?”. She said, “I just changed the words to say the same thing”.

She wrote “today it’s a beautiful day and I can’t see it”.

Yesterday I just found the video of this story.

This is actually what can happen when just changing words. We are responsible for our communication. You could not be aware of it but you have total freedom to modify the way in which you communicate. The meaning of communication is the result that you want to achieve with it. It can be having a good relation with your friends, family and lover. It can be making people laugh, or still give a professional image of you to your customers and colleagues.

Whatever is your goal first of all you have to be aware of the way in which you use language. Remember a thing, is not possible to not communicate. Everything you will do or won’t do it will be interpreted from others and it will give a message.

Conjunctions

Let’s start whit conjunctions. The way in which we connects different part of a sentence affect the meaning of the same. The most common conjunctions are “And”,”Or” and “But”.

But: The use of this word imply that we are going to negate the sentence that it was said before. Let’s take the example, “Marco is a good guy, but he is always late”. That’s mean that despite Marco is a good guy, we point the attention on the fact that he is always late. At the contrary “Marco is always late, but he is a good guy”, put emphasis on the second part of the sentence, resulting that even if Marco is always late he remain a good guy. The part of the sentence that follows the “But” is the one that gets importance. So, be aware of the use that you make of this word and use it if you want to put stress on a specific point.

And: It is the most used of the conjunctions and it give unions to the parts that are tied together with this word. For example “Marco is a good guy and he is always late”. Unlike of the “But”, “And” doesn’t give more relevance to one of the two parts of the sentence.

Or: Or simply indicated the open option between the two part of a sentence. The conditions cannot be verified at the same time. In the example, “Marco is a good guy or he is late”. The verifying of one condition exclude the possibility of the other to became true.

Positive Language

Trying to understand a negative message require more energy than for a positive one. Let’s make an example.

Don’t bring the book to the library after 7 pm, please. It won’t be open”.

In the sentence the message is express negatively. It is said what it has not to be done (don’t bring), and the negative conditions (The library won’t be open after 7 pm). A negative message has to be translated in it positive way to be understood. Using positive language simplify the process. Another reason for using positive messages is that you can more clearly express what you want instead of what you don’t want. If you ask to someone what do he want to drink and he answer you not water this would just express what he doesn’t want. In a positive language the sentence would be:

“Please, bring the book to the library before 7pm. It will be open.”

It is said what to do and when to do it. The message is surely clearer than before.

Avoid Weakeners

Words like “try”, “hope”, “maybe”, “perhaps” and “I’ll do my best” indicates a strong condition of uncertainty.

Who says “I hope that”, “I’ll try to”, “maybe I will”, already indicates that he believe in the failure of what he’s going to say. He implicitly recognise that there is a vast probability of failing. That is “bad” because trough this words we strongly influence the possibility of realisation. Our thought and our words are self fulfilling mechanisms of success. If you express failure with your words you’ll probably going to meet it.

Instead of this words just say I will do this I’ll make it. As Master Yoda says “do or do not, there is no try”.

Thanks for reading.

See you at the next post,

Alberto

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Sleep or not sleep (Part 2) How sleep works

In the last post we left each other with the description of why we sleep and some of the main functions that sleep fulfil.

But how does sleep works? And how much sleep do our body need to work at the best level?

How sleep works

Sleep is divided in two cases. Rem sleep and Non-Rem sleep. During the sleep period we pass through both stages more times.

The Rem stage is the one characterised by the fast movement of the eyes and is usually the one in which we experiment a strong dreaming activity. Brain is active and breath and heart beat become irregular. If awaken during this stage you will probably be aware of the dreams that you were doing.

The Non-Rem sleep is divided in 3 different stages. NRem1 is the so called light sleep, a state between being sleepy and being awake. NRem2 is a stage of “middle sleep” and it become gradually harder to be awaken. NRem3 (previously divided in 3 and 4) is the stage of deep sleep. It is the more restorative part of the sleeping. It is the stage in which the body take most of the energy for the new day.

In the lasts NRem staged the body occur many important functions for the body. For example, regenerating of tissues and building of bones and muscles occur mostly in this stages.

Our body need both the types of sleep. Rem sleep seems to least more for children (about 40-5%) and young persons, and it diminish while we get old. When I was younger my mother used to suggest me to repeat poems or memories facts just before going to sleep. In fact it plays a key role in the learning and memory development.

Sleep_Cycle.svg

When you begin sleeping you gradually pass trough the different stages of the NRem (from the NRem1 to the deep sleep, the NRem3-4) sleep. After the NRem stages, it become the Rem sleep. The stages of Rem and NRem sleep together form a sleep cycle that least about 90 minutes. During the night we usually repeat the cycles between 4 and 6 times.

As you can see from the picture up, the time that we spend in the different stages changes during the sleep. The Rem stage become longer after completing the stages of deep sleep, so usually in the second half of the sleep. (fount)

After this introduction (that actually started on the previous post) the question is…how long should you sleep?

How long?

No magic number! This is what the expert of National Sleep Foundation says to us. After answering thanks for the direct answer, we can continue to discover more secret about sleep.

Adults have usually a sleeping need that vary between 7 and 9 hours. The true answer to this question is “when you feel that you don’t need more sleep”. It’s also important to say, that is of main importance the quality of your sleep. You could rest for nine hours feeling still tired.

In todays society usually our rhythms make us need to optimize even the time that we pass sleeping. Here you have some suggestions to improve the quality of your sleep.

-Setting the alarm clock

As we said before that we need both Rem and NRem sleep, and we experiment a complete sleep cycle about every 90 minutes. Setting the alarm clock use multiple of 1.30 hour. It will help you not to wake up like a zombie while you was in the middle of your deep sleep stage. Try!

-Routine

Usually this word is not very exciting, isn’t it? But you have to know that your body and your mind love what is known. Have you ever tried to go sleeping with a jet-leg of 6-7 hours? It is quite hard for many.

We need time to get habits to many things and sleep is one of this. Establish a sleep and wake up schedules. Even during the weekend try to wake up at the same hour of your week.

Another way in which you can create a routine or regular attitude is before going to sleep. If you have problems in falling asleep start a bedtime routine (listen to same quite music, read a book etc.) about one our before.

-Eating and drinking

Your body works also when is sleeping, so don’t make the work heavier. Digestion require a lot of energy for a body that is trying to rest. Even more, the food that is eaten before sleep is more easily stored in our body without being used as energy. It’s mean you’ll became fat easier.

A good way for  avoiding both sleep and wight problems and making a gift to your body is eating light meals on dinner. The best is stop eating 2-3 hours before bedtime. Coffee, tea and other caffeine and alcohol products before bed time also prevent you from a good sleep.

Also for today thanks for reading.

See you at the next post,

Alberto

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Sleep or don’t sleep (Part 1) Why we sleep

As soon as I arrived in Finland (I have just one month left ;( ), I started being interested in understanding the sleeping mechanism.

Why do we sleep?

As far as there is not a unique answer to this question, many are contained in the functions that sleep fulfil.

Simply, after sleeping we feel usually better, and with more energy.

For Maiken Nedergaard, who led an important study at the University of Rochester while we sleep toxic proteins and molecular detritus are cleaned from the brain. To explain why this process is not possible during daytime Nedergaard says: “You can think of it like having a house party. You can either entertain the guests or clean up the house, but you can’t really do both at the same time“.

Sleep is a way to restore what the body lose while we are awake. Many functions, like the synthesis and release of the growth hormone, tissue repair and muscle growth take place mostly during the sleeping phase.

Sleep is especially important for young children whom spend most of the days sleeping and this plays a critical role in brain development. In this case sleep is correlated with changes in the structure of the brain and this phenomenon is known as brain plasticity.

Sleep is a function that all mammals (but also birds, fish, reptile, amphibious and also some simpler animals) absolve, even if in different ways. For example giraffes need to sleep about 4 hours a day while bats sleep for about 20 hours a day. This is one of the reasons why Giraffes live 25 five years in average while bats can live up to 30 years.

Dolphins and whales sleep with just half of a brain a time. Do you know why? Dolphins and whales are both mammals, and living in the water without gills obliged them to be conscious breather (they have to decide when to breath). Anyway their brain need to rest like the one of all other mammals. But sleeping in a state of unconscious would be a to high danger for survival. Resting with just half of the brain at time, is a way trough which the animal is never completely unconscious, while it can take the rest that it needs. (fount)

The inactive states of sleeping keep animals (man included in the past) out of dangerous situations and make them saving energies and resources (energy metabolism is reduced during sleep). As Jerome Siegel, neuroscientist at the University of California says “Like a maple tree dropping its leaves or a bear settling in for a winter hibernation, sleep is just another way of making sure organisms spend their resources wisely

Sleep is also related with mythology. Vampires where habits to have a contro-natural sleeping habit. In the greek mythology Hipsnos was the god of Sleep. Son of Erebus, deity of Darkness, and Nyx, the deity of the night, he was so powerful that he was able to make sleep even Zeus, the most powerful of all the Greeks gods.

Thanks for reading.

See you at the next post,

Alberto

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Motivation in Pills

Do you want some easy tips about how to motivate yourself in everyday tasks? If yes, this is the right place for you.

As you read in the previous post, the main components of motivation is know where you are going and what kind of impact you want to have on your reality. Why do you want moving in that direction? Clarify your life! This said, there are many tips and habits that can help you to be more effective and efficiently motivated in doing your daily tasks. In this post you can find some efficient motivation methods.

List Your Tasks

For some strange reason our mind likes what is written. If we write our purpose, that would have a major impact that if we just store it in our mind.  Before starting your day take 1 minute to list your daily tasks. Write whatever you want to finish during the day on a paper and put an estimated time for complete each of the activity. And try to optimise it. If a task will take you more time than expected and you won’t have enough time to finish your list activities, give priority to the urgent ones. Every time you finish one of the tasks, mark it on the paper. And enjoy it!

Create a Goals Diary

You can even create a Diary in which you can write down your goals and daily tasks. Setting intelligent goals and achieving it will motivate you. Make your tasks:

-specific: Be clear and specific in setting your task;

-smart: If it is possible break a big task in many little ones. Finish the little tasks will make you feel moving throw your goal. It will also make appear the final achieving less difficult;

-measurable: Make your goals set in a way that you can measure the progress on it;

-timed: Put an expected time on your daily task;

Strategic Pauses

Have you ever read something about the Pomodoro technique. Is a well explained way to say something simple. Take breaks! If you are studying for hours during a day, could be useful focusing for many hours. But try to split your activity in session of 20-25 minutes.  You can take a pause of 2-3 minutes between one session and the other one. And this will give you the possibility to refresh your mind and get it ready for work again. In long tasks every 2-3 hours should be useful taking a longer pause, let’s say about 15-20 minutes.

Pleasant Activity

What do you like to do in your free time? When you are in one of your positive moment write down a list of things that you like doing and that make you feel motivated and energetic. Put this activities in different phases of your day some activity that you enjoy doing. Sometimes is nonsense continuing working on a task that it’s not moving. If you have the possibility, do something else. Something that you like, and that is able to refresh your mind and your enthusiasm. Put this moments in different times of the day. That will make you feel motivated to finish your tasks in order to enjoy your moment of pleasure.

Find a partner

Two is better than one. Sometimes is true. However that you are study, working or training yourself, doing it with others can be a possibility for be more efficient. A partner give you the possibility of watching things in a different way. Working with someone can encourage you to make always a step more in order to “win”, or at least to don’t be less of him. Competitiveness can make you do your best. So find a person who is at your level in the field in which you are interested in, and stretch your skills to the maximum level.

Learn from experience

There is nothing as music that give me a strong energy to go out in the streets, also when is raining and the cold wind blows, and start running. It give me the right tension for starting sports or physical activities. What kind of music give you energy or motivate you? Use it as a secret weapon. When you discover that some specific action or thought motivate you or put you in a good mood, write it somewhere and use it when you’ll need it. Whatever you can learn from yourself is worth more than any book or any external advice.

For today it’s all.

Thanks for reading, see you at the next post,

Alberto

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